I Am Sorry If I Think Too Much . . .

Miss you ♥

Recently, I started to realize that I’d changed. I didn’t really know the reason why but my personality became so soft and patient, unlike the way I was before. When I stared at you, I could hardly explain the feeling that I was having, I thanked god for bringing such a beautiful soul into my world. When you’re beside me, I could feel the softness and fragility in your heart, in the same time, you gave me true peace. When I hold your hand, I bare the responsibilty and duty to protect and not letting you get hurt. Life would be nothing without you, you gave me purpose and I accepted it with all my heart. I miss you day and night, it doesn’t matter how much I have to give, as long as I can be with you, that would be the greatest gift.

Wish Upon A Star

I’m sad :’( I really wish we could sit down together, in a quiet and peaceful place at night, talk and share our feelings and stories together, like the first time we went out to the lake. You are the angel of my life, when I looked at you, I felt that god had given me an important task as a guardian to protect you, not letting you get hurt and to make you happy every single day of your life, this was the purpose I was born into this world. I want to face you but I’m afraid, I’m scared that I might say something stupid infront of you and make a fool out of myself, then maybe you might have bad thoughts about me. I’m a person who thinks a lot, you knew that too as I already told before, therefore, I might get jealous really easy. Every move or action of yours means everything to me, you might think that I didn’t notice, but actually I do, it’s just that I don’t want you to feel that you being watched, so I was really alert of every move I make. I realized that you started talking to everybody, not being shy anymore, I was really happy for you but I was wondering what made you changed.

Normally, I would go to the lake at night when I misses you, I would sit down on the spot where we first sat together, listening to the songs in a playlist which is dedicated to you in my phone. The lake reminds me of the memories I had with you and the songs express the feelings I had towards you. Sometimes, my eyes would get wet when I listened to those songs as I felt sad, wishing to know what you are thinking in your mind. Everytime I wondered around the lake, I would text you because I was hoping that you could feel the same way I did during that time. I wished that you could be there with me everytime I was at the lake, I want you to see what I see and listen to what I was listening, feel life the way I felt which is full of wonders and beauty, but yet sad because there was something missing in my life. I usually fell asleep at our memorable place after my long walk around the lake, sometimes I would lie down with my body facing to the sky, starring at the sky and making a wish upon a star. Sometimes I would tell you how beautiful the moon was, it means that I was at the lake that time, enjoying the view of the pretty moon, sometimes I would talk and share my feelings about you to the moon, wishing to get an answer.

 

There are a lot of things that I want you to know but I couldn’t, I really don’t know how to express them to you as some are really complicated and I don’t wish to annoy you or make you feel bad. I really wish to understand you but I couldn’t, I don’t even really understand myself, the way I thought of you, you are different from any other girls, that is what makes you so special which I really couldn’t explain how or why you are so important and precious to me. I would think of you no matter what I do, I just can’t get you out of my mind, maybe is because I misses you too much which I’m so desperate to have you by my side. In fact, you have something really extraordinary that nobody else could ever have, the power of yours is so strong that even smile could brighten up my rainy day. At night, I would think of you a lot before I go to sleep, I would hug my pillow so tight thinking that it was you, I really wish to feel the touch of your hand and I wish that you would never let go of it when we fit our fingers together.

 

Although I’m not with you, but sometimes I might have nightmares that I would be losing you, which I’m really afraid that it could turn into reality. I noticed that there are a few people that are into you, sometimes when you talk or joke around with them, I will feel really sad because I’m afraid that my nightmares would come true, but there is nothing I can do but watch. I really wish to know what exactly am I to you, there are a lot of questions in my mind but I can’t really get to know all of the answers, I just hope that maybe someday, you might provided me all the answers I need without me asking. Hope is a good thing in life, I don’t wish to lose hope but sometimes the more hope you have, the more disappointment you’ll get. No matter what I do until today, I will not lose hope on you as you’re the one who gave me hope at the first place. Thank you for being in my life, I will try my best to do whatever I can to repay you for that :)