My Personal Diary

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George Town, Penang, Malaysia
Life is so short when you started to make use of it, with a blink of an eye, you might already lost everything. By the time you realized, it might already be too late.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Life in High School (Part 1)

Form 1:

First day in Phor Tay Private High School, feeling so shy cause in a class full of strangers. Don’t really understand what the teacher talked about, asked one my classmates named Kai Jie, then we became friends. Looked up on my new form teacher, Lye Pei See, liked her very much as she was a responsible and caring type. Looked for school bus services after school with mom, found one but was feeling so uncertain to give it a try as the driver doesn’t really know how to gain the customer’s trust in a way he talked. Started taking the bus after that day, being so shy at first, unexpectedly, I became the crazy kid in the bus. Made a new friend in the bus whose name was Yao Chun, he lived in one of the houses opposite the church near my house, the bus dropped him off at the same place with me. Became friends with two crazy kids in class, Ken Yang and Chu Shen, which I really hoped to be as crazy as them, they were called upon to the headmaster’s office all the time for their reckless actions. They introduced me a game called Maple Story, getting addicted to that game was my first mistake, continuously, starved myself to save pocket money so that I can buy game cards, how stupid was I. There was a time when I finished my breakfast, walking to my class, saw Ken Yang was arguing with a senior, suddenly that guy put a blow on his face and his glasses flew away, Ken Yang became mad with tears dropping off from his eyes, before I can finished the show, I was forced into the class as the teacher for the next class arrived. After that class was teacher Lye’s class, she came in and asked what happened between Ken Yang and that guy earlier in recess, teacher Lye ordered the class monitor to call upon the guy that hit Ken Yang into our class, when the guy came in to the class, the war between the two started again, then teacher Lye became mad and shouted, then the whole scene became still, then she asked for an eye witness to know who started it, I raised my hand up immediately and told her what happened because I wanted to help Ken Yang in winning that war as he was my best friend that time. The discussion with teacher Lye last about half an hour, then the case was closed quickly so that the class could start.



Form 2:

Form 2 was the year I started becoming best friends with a boy called Khang Hwang, he was so anxious in joining us on our adventure, together with him, Ken Yang and Chu Sen, we gone crazy about Maple Story. A singaporean guy named Chun Hui showed up later on, he too joined us in the game, he already played that game before he even came to this school as Maple Story was originally from Singapore. We talked about that game, day and night, used the house phone to call Khang Hwang every day, my family was shocked when the phone bill came out, got scolded so terribly by my family, he too got scolded by his parents cause we took turns to call each other. Later on, there’s a guy called Yeoh Chee Loon joined us, I really hated him because he kept on saying Maple Story was a game for kids but he played it too after that. He started stealing my best friend away from me and started helping him with money and levels in the game, when Ken Yang and Chu Sen were kicked out from the school, I became the abandoned one as Chun Hui also switched into another school . The last day of school before the long term holiday, I was invited to the internet café in Prangin Mall by Khang Hwang after school, was about to contact my mother to tell her not to fetch me up after school but was out of change, being so addicted to the game, forgot to contact my mom. Had so much fun with Khang Hwang in the internet café, kept on adding an hour after an hour. After that, Khang Hwang took me to his parents’ shop in Prangin Mall. Everyone in the shop was shocked when I walked in, immediately his mother grabbed the phone and started dialing, she then passed the phone to me. I took the phone and listen, I heard my mom’s voice and I answered, she started scolding me saying that she’s been looking all over for me, thinking I got kidnapped or something, she told me she waited me outside the school for 20minutes and I never came out, she went into the school and ask for me but no one had any idea where I was or where I’ve been, she went back home and opened my phone’s contact list, calling every number to see if I am with one of the friends in my contact list, but everyone did not have a clue of where I have been except for one guy, he told my mom he saw me went out with Khang Hwang after school. My mom called Khang Hwang’s house phone and told everything to his parents, Khang Hwang didn’t take his phone out either that time so his parents can’t contact his son that time, my mom said she was about to lodge a police report before Khang Hwang’s mom gave her the call that time, then my mom asked dad to fetch me back home from Prangin Mall that time. When I was waiting for my parents, I got scolded terribly by Khang Hwang’s parents, saying how irresponsible I am to do that to my mother, saying how worried my mother was when her child was lost, and continuously, they blamed me for giving bad influence to his son, teaching him bad stuffs and bring him to internet cafes. I was really upset that time, I wasn’t the one who taught him all the bad stuffs, I was the abandoned one, I got blamed for all of Chee Loon’s bad doings, that time Khang Hwang’s grades was so bad and he didn’t want to listen a thing his parents said, that’s why his parents was so mad at me thinking I made his child like that. His father even wanted to beat me up that time but his mother stopped him, then I said to his parents that it was my fault that his son became like this, it was a boy named Chee Loon, then his mother took out her phone and asked for Chee Loon’s number, Khang Hwang said the number out without even looking at his contact list, it was already in his mind, he probably called Chee Loon every day. His mom called and talked to Chee Loon cause she didn’t really believe what I said was true, then Khang Hwang backed me up by telling his parents that it wasn’t my fault, then I told his parents that I wasn’t the one who hanged out with him all the time, it was Chee Loon, only then they believed me. After that, her mom’s phone rang, it was my dad, he asked me to come down to the car as he already reached Prangin Mall, only my brother and father were in the car, I went up without saying a word until I reached home, they headed to some other place after I went down from the car. I rushed to my room with my tears flowing down my cheeks, with the lights and fan off, I locked myself in the room crying, starving myself for the whole day, thinking of suicide. I texted Khang Hwang to tell his parents that I was sorry for everything, I told him I really want to kill myself but he told me he really want to kill his parents. Fell asleep after that, woke up the next morning, came down from the stairs as if nothing happened, mom looked at my face and asked me to eat something, I was not in the mood to do anything, life was so pointless to me that time, why was god so unfair. Khang Hwang called me, I asked what was he doing that time, he told me he was playing Maple Story. I was thinking, what the hell is wrong with him, he acted like nothing happened, I told him I was gonna quit Maple Story and he begged me not too. I felt really sorry for him because he was so addicted to that stupid game which ruined our friendship. But until today, I still think of him as my best friend as I still love him like my own brother.



Form 3:

Started being good friends with another group of the class, Kai Jie’s group. They’re all really fun, gone crazy all the time and joke around with them, and also play other online games with them and started going to internet cafes with them after school. That time, my results were so bad, I started being a really bad person, being disrespectful to teachers, joke around in class, disturbing other students and making fun of them. Always got kicked out of the class, get record into the discipline book and was one of the infamous student in school, not just me actually, it’s the whole bunch of group that I hang out with. Although the ones I hang out with are bad influences for me, but they let me understand what is the true meaning of friendship. We treated each other as brothers, we got into trouble, in the end we all got punished together, no one was left behind, it’s like “we die, we die together”. If there’s a problem, we bare the same awareness, we hold the same responsibilities, we took care of each other.  That time, they were like my family, they understood me and could communicate well with me more than my family could ever will, I think of it as a gift from god to have them as my friends. My family hated them as they gave me so much influence but the truth is, if it’s not for them, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this today, I would have killed myself way before due to too much negative thinking when there’s no one around that could really understand you and talk to you, until I the day met those bunch of crazy people, I appreciate them as if they were my whole life. I told my friends about what happened to me before with Khang Hwang and Chee Loon, they sympathize me for being accused for something I did not do. They helped me and gave me the power to take control over Chee Loon, the guy who had ruined part of my life, we bullied him really badly as we disturbed him, we made fun of him and we pissed him off all the time, but he can’t do anything to us as we’re the “badest” of all, and some of us knew gangsters who have great power in the public, so he couldn’t really do anything to us. Preventing himself from us, he sleeps in class all the time thinking that we won’t do anything while he’s sleeping. At first it worked, but in the end we are still able to disturb him and wake him up from his sleep, his life was so desperate that time, he skipped school for like every day, at least 3-4 days a week, the teacher complained to his parents and consulted him. He put all the blame on us, but actually we’re only half of the reason, the other half was his addiction to online games, skipping school to go to internet cafes and sleeping in class cause lack of sleep due to too much gaming. But it’s still useless for him to talk to the teacher as he’s not that good himself too, before we go against him, he did always slept in class and skipped school, just it became worse after we bullied him. There one who consulted him was the form teacher, and we got a really good advantage as the form teacher are really close to us, so she would trust us more than that pathetic guy, he’s not that honest himself too. Chee Loon was kicked out of the school not long before we graduated, due to too the attendance and performance in class, it was really a pity, but he won’t do well in his final exams either with that type of attitude he’s having, so he just left. At the middle of the year, everybody is getting worried about the final exams that we’re having soon, UEC & PMR. UEC is an exam for private schools which all is in Chinese and PMR is the government exam, but the important one for me is PMR and so I only focused on PMR as I knew my UEC was hopeless.  Me and my friends started to get serious and started studying for exams, we helped each other by teaching each other, and we learned from each other. There was a guy in class name Yu Hong, he is a show off because his English is so good in class but there is still someone who always score better than him in exams, that is me, he think of me as his foe, his aim is to get higher marks in English than me, he studied and focus on English real hard but the marks for every exams we have seem to disappoint him a lot. On the other hand, I didn’t study English but my marks were better, that’s what really pissed him off all the time. I don’t really get it, why did he have to work so hard just to beat me in English, why can’t he just let go and accept that my English is better, why does it always have to be a challenge. My friends really hated him for his anger and goal of winning towards me, so every time the teacher announce the results for English, we would all make fun of him and he would get really pissed off, but it’s really not our fault either for him to get angry, who asked him to take it so seriously and always think of it as a challenge. After the final exams, UEC & PMR, everybody was so relieved, as if we got set free from prison after 10 years, we still have to attend school that time because the schools needed to record the attendance as the holiday haven’t started yet. We really had a lot of fun that time, we go to school without bags and we play cards most of the time in class. We chat, we joke and we go crazy all the time cause we had nothing better to do in school. During the year, I had a crush on a girl in class named Khaw Pei Lynn, I started liking her on a night we chat, I was really upset and depressed about life, she cheered up in her own ways and slowly I just fell for her. We chat all the time in msn, she told me about her life and I told her about mine, but I didn’t tell her I like her, not just yet. She’s a really unique girl, but there’s a problem with her that makes her life so unpleasant, she never told me about it until one day, she didn’t attend class for quite awhile, the teacher told us something about her and asked us not to spread. She had something in her body that can be removed permanently; it was a great thread to her life, the location of it is in the neck. I felt so bad and cried when I got home that day after I found out about it. I tried to seek medication for her, I searched the internet and I asked people all around. Finally, my mom knew some sort of a seed that could cure her illness, but she has to take it every single day and for quite some time. I gave it to her mom and she thanked me for trying to help. I went to her house frequently to talk to her, trying to give her attention and her family knew me very well that time. Her family wasn’t rich, her father went work in China so that he could support his family, their family lived in a flat and owned a small car, their parents have to bare so much to save their daughter from that thread, I sympathized her a lot and I really want to give her care as much as I could. I proposed to her afterwards, that was my first proposal in life. At the end of the year, I made my first proposal in life, unfortunately, she thought of me as a good friend, nothing more than that. Later on, I found out that my best friend, khang hwang, was dating her that time. I was sad, but happy at the same time, sad that I couldn’t get what I want, but happy for them to be together as I love them both so much. Holiday was ending so soon and i have to face her eventually. Few days before school started, I requested something from my mom, which is a change of school. I told her that I was in so much pressure with both the private school exam (UEC) & the government exam (PMR/SPM) because in phor tay private, it is compulsory to take the UEC. I said I only wanted to focus on the government exam as the private school exam is useless for me in the future, I requested to switch into chung ling private high school, which I need not take the private school exams. And so, my mom agreed to switch me  into chung ling private. School holidays were ending so soon, I have only 2-3 days left, me and my mom went to phor tay to settle my documents, my teachers asked why wanted to leave and they were like begging me to stay as I used to be the allocution contest champion for English and Malay in the school. When I was form 1, I can take down all the people in form 1 to form 3 and became champion, and continuously for every year, I joined the allocution contest and won first prize for English every time, but sometimes 2nd or 3rd prize for Malay. I was a really famous allocution contestant in school, every time I went up the stage, people would say “Oh it’s him again, he’s gonna win this time”, my teachers were really proud at me that time, that is why they didn’t want me to leave the school. I felt sorry for them as I already made my decision and I was not going to change my mind, so I just left. There were only 2 days left, my mom and I went to Chung Ling Private for my registration and we encountered a huge problem. The headmaster of Chung Ling private didn’t want to accept me as a student of his school due to my records of bad performance back in Phor Tay Private and my bad results as I scored a D for Chinese language in PMR, which is really bad as me myself is a Chinese. I beg the headmaster to give me a chance as I will perform well and be good in school, I even showed him the award certificate of my allocution contest to make him change his mind. After several times of rejection, I still insisted for him to give me a chance, and my mom helped too, and so he agreed in one condition, in this midyear exam, I must score 70% and above in average, if not, I will get kicked out from the school, I have no choice but to agree with that condition. He also said that the reason he let me in is because of my mother as she was so worried for my education and he didn’t want to disappoint her. That time, I had a determination to perform well and so I decided to end my gaming life once and for all.

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